One Liners – A

List of 1 liners | one liners starting with A.

A

  • A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.
  • A bad plan is better than no plan.
  • A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
  • A closed mind is a good thing to lose.
  • A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood. – Chinese proverb
  • A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
  • A compliment is a statement of an agreeable truth; flattery is the statement of an agreeable untruth. (Sir John A. MacDonald)
  • A computer beat me at chess once. But, it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • A computer is almost human – except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.
  • A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • A conference is a gathering of important people who individually can’t do anything but together can decide that nothing can be done.
  • A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago.
  • A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals.
  • Acquaintance: a person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
  • A crisis is when you can’t say: “let’s forget the whole thing”.
  • A crumb from a winner’s table is better than a feast from a loser’s table!
  • Action may not always be happiness, but there is no happiness without action.
  • A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
  • Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked. – Kimberley Broyles
  • A dancer goes quick on her beautiful legs; a duck goes quack on her beautiful eggs.
  • A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.
  • A diplomatic husband said to his wife, “How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?”
  • A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
  • A disbelief in God does not result in a belief in nothing; disbelief in God usually results in a belief in anything.
  • A dog inside a kennel barks at his fleas. A dog hunting does not notice them.
  • A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods!
  • A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a God!
  • A dog who attends a flea circus most likely will steal the whole show.
  • Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
  • A dream is just a dream. A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline. – Harvey Mackay
  • A drop of ink may make a million think.
  • A drunk mans’ words are a sober mans’ thoughts.
  • Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
  • A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American.
  • “Our flag is symbolic of our taxes.
  • We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them.”
  • The American nodded. “It’s the same in the USA only we see stars too!”
  • Adversity doesn’t build character, it reveals it.
  • Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and keep away from children.
  • Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. – Erica Jong
  • A face without freckles is like a sky without stars.
  • A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in on the experience. – Elbert Hubbard
  • A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul last forever.
  • A fall will always make a wise man wiser. – ancient Chinese
  • A family came home from Church where the sermon was on Adam and Eve.
  • The Mother noticed the boy sitting on the bed feeling his ribs.
  • She asked what he was doing.
  • He said, “I counted these things 3 times now. Ma ! I think I’m having a wife.”
  • A farmer learns more from a bad harvest than a good one.
  • A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
  • A father said to his son, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.”
  • The son replied, “When Lincoln was your age, he was President.”
  • A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read: “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked: “What happened to the flea?”
  • Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. – C.S. Lewis
  • A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
  • A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you become, and still gently invites you to grow.
  • A friend is someone that won’t begin to talk behind your back when you leave the room.
  • A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.
  • A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. – Abraham Lincoln
  • A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
  • A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
  • A friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.
  • A friend to all is a friend to none.
  • After all is said and done, more is said than done.
  • After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.
  • After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of budgeting the balance.
  • A gentle word, like summer rain, may soothe some heart and banish pain. What joy or sadness often springs, from just the simple little things!
  • Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Satchel Paige
  • A girl phoned me and said…Come on over there’s nobody home. I went over… Nobody was home!
  • A giving church is a living church.
  • A goal properly set is halfway reached.
  • A goal without a plan is just a wish.
  • A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble. – Charles H. Spurgeon
  • A good conscience is a soft pillow.
  • A good example is the best sermon.
  • A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.
  • A good friend sees the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.
  • A good marriage is like a casserole: only those involved actually know what goes into it.
  • A good match blows fire…
  • A good school is a community where children learn to live first and foremost as children and not as future adults.
  • A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. – George Burns
  • A good way to change somebody’s attitude is to change your own.
  • A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have.
  • A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. – William James
  • A guilty conscience needs no accuser.
  • A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. – Hugh Downs
  • A happy person is one whose arithmetic is at its best when they is counting their blessings.
  • A hard thing about business is minding your own.
  • A heavy burden does not kill on the day it is carried. – Kenyan Proverb
  • A helping hand is no farther than at the end of your sleeve.
  • A helping word to one in trouble is like a switch in a railroad track . . . an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity. – Henry Ward Beecher
  • A hug is a great gift… one size fits all, and it’s easy to exchange. – Natasha Isabelle
  • A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home.
  • A husband is the medicine that cures all the ills of girlhood.
  • Aim at heaven and you get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. – C. S. Lewis
  • A journey of a thousand miles always begins with one step. – ancient Egyptian proverb
  • A judge is a law student who marks their own examination papers. – H.L. Mencken
  • A jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
  • A kid’s idea of a balanced diet is a hamburger in each hand.
  • A king’s castle is his home.
  • A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
  • Alcohol preserves everything but not dignity.
  • A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way. – John C. Maxwell
  • A leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once.
  • Algebra was easy for the Romans because “X” was always 10.
  • A lie has speed, but truth has endurance. – Edgar J. Mohn
  • A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
  • Alimony: funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried.
  • Alimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on.
  • A little lie is like a little pregnancy it doesn’t take long before everyone knows. – C.S. Lewis
  • All animals, except man, know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it. – Samuel Butler
  • All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness.
  • All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move. – Benjamin Franklin
  • All men can fly, but sadly, only in one direction — down.
  • All men make mistakes but married men find out about them sooner.
  • All mothers are working mothers.
  • All of the biggest technological inventions created by man – the airplane, the automobile, the computer – says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness. – Mark Kennedy
  • All of us are God’s creatures… just some are more creature than others.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
  • All sunshine makes a desert.
  • All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in this world is for enough good men to do nothing. – Edmund Burke
  • All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today and yesterday.
  • All the so-called “secrets of success” will not work unless you do.
  • All the treasure in the world is worthless, unless you have someone to share it with.
  • All your dreams come true, if you have the courage to pursue them. – Walt Disney
  • A long dispute means that both parties are wrong.
  • A long life may not be good enough, but a good life is long enough. – Benjamin Franklin
  • A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
  • A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
  • Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. – Helen Keller
  • A luxury once enjoyed becomes a necessity.
  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. – Wendell Johnson
  • Always buy good shoes, and a good bed. Because if you aren’t in one, you’re in the other.
  • Always forgive your enemies but never forget their names.
  • Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting. – Brian Tracy
  • Always keep several get well cards on the mantel. If unexpected guests arrive, they’ll think you’ve been sick and unable to clean.
  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
  • Always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.
  • Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
  • A man convinced against his will is still of the same opinion.
  • A man has nothing to lose in trying, however: he may lose if he fails to try. – Monsieur Nana Adom
  • A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
  • A man is at his tallest when he stoops to help a child.
  • A man is never astonished that he doesn’t know what another does; but he is surprised at the gross ignorance of the other in not knowing what he does.
  • A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. – John Barrymore 1943
  • A man is not where he lives, but where he loves. – Latin Proverb
  • A man prayed, and at first he thought that prayer was talking. But he became more and more quiet until in the end he realised that prayer is listening. – Soren Kierkegaard
  • A man’s knowledge can never outweigh his experience.
  • A man spends the first half of his life learning habits that shorten the other half of his life.
  • A man’s reach should exceed its grasp. – Browning
  • A man who is attracted by your mental appearance loves you more than a man who is attracted by your physical appearance.
  • A man who lives in a glass house should change in basement.
  • A man who lives in a glass house shouldn’t throw stones.
  • A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife, has a very smart wife!
  • A man who throws dirt loses ground.
  • A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
  • America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
  • America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote.
  • America is a land where citizens vote for Democrats but hope to live like Republicans.
  • America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.
  • “Am I indecisive?” Can I get back to you on that?
  • A mind, like a home, is furnished by its owner, so if one’s life is cold and bare he can blame none but himself. – Louis L’Amour
  • A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension. – Oliver Wendell Holmes
  • A moment on the lips, an eternity on the hips.
  • Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart. – Zig Ziglar
  • A more expensive tennis racket will not make you a better player.
  • A mother holds her childrens hands for a while, their hearts forever.
  • A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
  • An adolescent is a person who acts like a baby when they aren’t treated like an adult.
  • An angry person is seldom reasonable; a reasonable person is seldom angry.
  • An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
  • An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer.
  • An educational system isn’t worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living but doesn’t teach them how to make a life.
  • An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
  • An error doesn’t become a mistake until you choose to ignore it.
  • An expert is a man that has made all mistakes possible in a narrow field of expertise. – Albert Einstein
  • An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. – Mohandas Gandhi
  • Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. – Seneca
  • Anger is costly on the soul, be careful with what you choose to spend it on. – Bohdan Chreptak
  • Anger opens the mouth and shuts the mind.
  • An inch of time cannot be bought by an inch of gold. – Chinese proverb
  • An obstacle is something you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
  • An obstinate man does not hold opinions, they hold him. – Samuel Butler
  • An old-timer is someone who remembers every detail of their life story, but cannot remember how many times they have told the same person.
  • An open mind does not always require an open mouth.
  • An optimist believes we live in the best of all worlds.
  • A pessimist fears this is true.
  • An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
  • A note left for a pianist from his wife: “Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.”
  • An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance. – Nolan’s / Peter’s Placebo
  • Antiques are things one generation buys, the next generation gets rid off, and the following generation buys at auction at amazing prices.
  • Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.
  • Any car will last a lifetime – if you are careless enough.
  • Any man who laughs at women’s clothes has never paid the bill for them.
  • Anyone can make a mountain out of a molehill by throwing on more dirt.
  • Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. – Albert Einstein
  • Anyone who has time to look for a 4- leaf clover needs to find one.
  • Anyone who is not a socialist at 16 has no heart, but anyone who still is at 32 has no mind. – Woodrow Wilson
  • Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. – Henry Ford
  • Anyone who thinks that they are too small to make a difference has never been in bed with a mosquito.
  • Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it. – Mitchell’s Law of Committees
  • Anything labeled “New” and/or “Improved” is not: the label means the price went up.
  • The label “All new” or “Completely new” means the price went way up.
  • Anything that can be changed will be changed until there is no time left to change anything.
  • Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
  • Anything you lose automatically doubles in value. – Mignon McLaughin
  • A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny spent, is a penny enjoyed.
  • A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye.
  • A perfect guest is one who makes his host feel at home.
  • A person can fail many times, but they are not really a failure until they start to blame someone else.
  • A person is getting along the road to wisdom when they begin to realize that their opinion is just another opinion.
  • A person is grown up not when they can take care of themselves, but when they can take care of others.
  • A person is only as big as the things that make them angry. – Confucius
  • A person of words and not deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
  • A person’s character and their garden both reflect the amount of weeding that was done during the growing season.
  • A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
  • A person without knowledge of his history is like a tree without roots.
  • A person who can speak many languages is not necessarily more valuable than a person who can listen in one.
  • A person who makes no mistakes, generally makes nothing.
  • A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties. – Harry Truman
  • A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.
  • A physician can bury his mistakes, an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. – Frank Lloyd Wright)
  • A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think they are the only one who can save the ship.
  • A politician is the one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
  • A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office.
  • A politician will stand for what he thinks people will fall for. – Anonymous
  • A poor person isn’t he who has little, but he who needs a lot. – German proverb
  • A poor report card has one good thing in its favor: at least you know the student is not cheating.
  • A promise is a debt. – Irish Proverb
  • A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience. – Miguel de Cervantes
  • A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat. – Slick’s Second Universe Law
  • Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.
  • A real friend is someone who takes a winter vacation on a sun-drenched beach and does not send a card. – Farmer’s Almanac
  • A real patriot is someone who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.
  • A religion that is small enough for us to understand would not be large enough for our needs.
  • A retired husband is a wife’s full time job.
  • Are you fuel for your job or is your job fuel for you. – Prof. Preston Bottger
  • Are you living for the things you are praying for? – Austin Phelps
  • Are you wrinkled with burden? Come onto Church for a FAITH LIFT!
  • A rich person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.
  • Artichokes are like humans: you have to go through so much to get to the heart. – Kathy Good
  • Art is work, to sell it is art.
  • A rumor is as hard to unspread as butter.
  • As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  • A sad Texan once prayed, “Lord, I wish you would make it rain – not so much for me, I’ve seen it – but for my 7-year-old.”
  • As a man begins to live more seriously within; he begins to live more simply without.
  • A scientist knows more & more about less & less till he knows everything about nothing while a philosopher knows less & less about more & more till he knows nothing about everything.
  • A seafood diet is the best: whenever you see food, eat it.
  • A seminar on time travel will be held in two weeks ago.
  • A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.
  • A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. – John A. Shedd
  • A signature always reveals a man’s character… and sometimes even his name.
  • A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
  • A single reason why you can do something is worth 100 reasons why you can’t.
  • A sinning man will stop praying. A praying man will stop sinning.
  • As intelligence increases speech decreases. – Ali bin Abi Talib
  • As I said before, I never repeat myself.
  • Ask a question and you’re a fool for three minutes; do not ask a question and you’re a fool for the rest of your life. – Chinese proverb
  • Asking the boss for a rise may not be patriotic, but it will help the government with the extra tax if it comes off.
  • Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
  • As long as people keep killing people, to stop the killing of people, the killing will go on.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
  • As long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy rent-free space in your mind. – Isabelle Holland
  • As long as you put in the work, you can own the dream. When the work stops, the dream disappears. – Jim Dietz
  • A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won’t trust him to wash it.
  • A smile is a curve that sets things straight.
  • A smile is a fortune, but you can’t sell it, you can’t buy it and you can’t steal it, but it isn’t good to anyone until it is given away.
  • A smile is the cheapest way to improve your looks, even if your teeth are crooked.
  • A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart.
  • A smile on your face can be felt on another’s heart. – Rhonda Marlow
  • A smooth sea never made a skillful mariner. – English Proverb
  • Aspire to inspire before you expire.
  • A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. – Benjamin Franklin
  • A stand can be made against invasion of an army; no stand can be made against invasion of an idea.
  • A statesman shears the sheep. A politician skins them.
  • A status symbol is a symbol, not status.
  • A stone thrown at the right time is better than gold given at the wrong time. – Persian proverb
  • A sweater is usually put on a child when the parent feels chilly.
  • A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can’t spell.
  • A talent is formed in stillness, a character in the world’s torrent.
  • A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. – Henry Adams
  • A tear shed can say more than a hundred words spoken.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.
  • A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
  • A true friend walks in when the world walks out.
  • A truth spoken before its time is dangerous
  • Attend Church weekly NOT weakly.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Attitude might not catch fish, but it helps when you don’t.
  • Attitude must be an art because it draws, and not a science because it can’t be measured.
  • A twofold national problem is how to preserve the wilderness in the country and get rid of the jungle in the cities.
  • At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
  • “Automatic” simply means that you can’t repair it yourself.
  • Autopsy is a dying practice.
  • Availability is better than ability for God.
  • Avarice hoards itself poor; charity gives itself rich. – German proverb
  • A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
  • A vibration is a motion that can’t make up its mind which way it wants to go.
  • A weird thing about humans is we work till we’re sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.
  • A wife is a person who can look in the top drawer of a dresser and find a man’s handkerchief that isn’t there.
  • A wise enemy is still safer than a fool friend.
  • A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men. – Saadi, Persian poet
  • A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. – Baltasar Gracian
  • A wise man may look ridiculous in the company of fools. – Thomas Fuller
  • A wise man sees as much as he should, not as much as he can.
  • A wise person escapes temptation and leaves no forwarding address.
  • A wise person has something to say, a fool has to say something.
  • A ‘wish’ changes nothing. A ‘decision’ changes everything!
  • A woman never shot a man while he was doing dishes.
  • A woman’s greatest power is her vulnerability.
  • A woman’s heart is like a campfire; if you don’t tend it often the flame will go out. – Willie M. Lawrence
  • A word gets its meaning by the person who speaks it.
  • A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
  • A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
  • A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions.

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